Life is Just Another Banana by Damien Barrett (this story is based on and was written after Cameron's) Wanda squeezed the melons carefully but firmly, looking for the perfect one. She knew the store manager was watching her, probably looking to see if she bruised the produce, but she knew what she was doing. Wanda had never ruined a melon in twenty-six years. She fancied herself an expert melon-picker. And she'd be damned before she let some greasy skinny-ass store manager push her around demanding she pay for damaged produce. A grin slid across her face as she remembered the last guy who had made demands of her; oh the joy of crushing... Candy leaned over far enough for the pastor to see down her shirt. She knew he had an enormous erection and had been watching him watch her all afternoon, just as he did every time he came into the store. She smiled when she thought of him enjoying himself later to the memory of the flesh he had seen in the store, her flesh. The two pimply teenage boys had also been watching her and Candy made sure to bend over the register while bagging the pastor's groceries granting the boys an ample view of her tight ass. Candy grinned as she thought of the fight she would have with Jocko later that evening over her promiscuity. Pastor Bob glanced quickly in the direction of the large woman picking melons before he stole a glance at the young checkout girl. She was dressed in a hot pink halter top and was, thank the Lord, once again bra-less. Pastor Bob knew he would be saying much penance later for his indulgances just this one afternoon. Pink was rapidly becoming his favorite color. Pastor Bob shifted his weight uncomfortably on his feet feeling the warmth grow in his pants. He was nervous that the woman squeezing melons, an upstanding member of his congregation, would catch him ogling the checkout girl. It didn't matter. It was worth it to see her young flesh. Oh the fantasies he would conjure up. He grinned as the checkout girl leaned over... Marvin glared at the large woman in the produce aisle. She was bruising the melons, he knew it. He knew she was watching him and was being so careful as to not bruise the melons, but squeezing them hard enough, just enough to piss him off. And look at the careless way she put them back, haphazardly stacking them. Why she could send the whole display over! Marvin would have to argue with his worthless bagboy to get the mess cleaned up. He was still regretting hiring the jarheaded kid. He was always arguing with his girlfriend at the register. Ah ha! The fat woman had bruised a melon! He knew it. Marvin rubbed his hands together, grinned, and prepared to pounce... Jocko's face reddened as he watched that bitch flirting again with the pastor. He knew she was banging him on the side. Why else was she always staying after church so late on Sundays? He'd seen the looks they gave each other. The perverted pastor always shopped here and spent an extra long time in the checkout every time, pretending to pick out gum and read the horoscopes but actually looking down his girl's shirt. It didn't matter that she had broken up with him, Jocko still was jealous. And that whore just kept right on flirting. He saw her wag her ass at the two punk frosh. He would beat the shit out of them later; that would make him feel better. He grinned as he thought about his fist smashing into those zit-coverd pizza faces... Wanda dropped the melon too hard and inhaled sharply. Marvin jumped forward, his mouth already open in reprimand, a glint of success gleaming in his beady little eyes. Candy giggled as the pastor brushed his hand up against her breast on accident while reaching for a horoscope. Pastor Bob blushed and quickly turned to hide his raging erection, praying that no one would see it. Jocko grunted and slammed his fist into the wall of the breakroom. An intense beam of light bored through the ceiling of the store just above the produce section and struck the melons full force. The tempature of the store jumped 60 degrees in a matter of seconds. Wanda was blinded instantly by the light and didn't see but felt the melons begin to explode under the heat. Red melon innards flung across the store landing in Marvin's hair and on his glasses. Marvin's mouth dropped open as he saw his orderly store enrupt into chaos. Candy squealed as Pastor Bob's skull was crushed by a speeding can of pinapple slices. She clapped her hands together like a child enjoying a bright balloon. Blood pooled quickly on the conveyor belt under Pastor Bob's limp head, matting into his hair. A speckled pattern had sprayed across the paper bag of groceries on the counter. The last thing Candy saw was the face of Jesus grinning at her from the pattern on the bag. Jocko gasped as he saw Candy's chest impaled by a beam of intense light. Her arms flew backward as if in rapture, her flame-red hair hanging down loose. He lunged forward to protect her but tripped over the mangled bodies of the pimply boys. Jocko's 200 pound-plus linebacker body was captured forever by gravity and he felt himself falling unstoppablely towards the overturned mop bucket. The handle punctured Jocko's chest just above the his heart and he died gasping like a fish out of water. Marvin felt the hot red muck hit his face. He couldn't tell if it was melon innards or some of the many human body parts flying through the air. It didn't matter. Both horrified him. In under a minute he had seen his store turn into the Apocalypse. Marvin squealed and turned to flea just as one of the aisle signs detached from the ceiling. It swung down quickly and sliced clean through the upper body of one dead store manager, leaving two stumps of legs standing in shiny black manager shoes before they fell over limply into the growing mass of carnage on the floor. Wanda grinned as she strode purposely out of the store, holding in one hand a melon she had so carefully chosen and in the other a banana she had offhandedly grabbed on the way out. Approaching the store was a bewildered policeman who had responded to the alarm. He gaped at Wanda's disheveled appearance--covered in melon innards and contents from exploded cans and bottles and blood from the previous store residents. She grinned and said, "Life is Just Another Banana."